I really really really miss being at school and college.
The feeling of being presence with friends,
the time spent without thinking whats ahead,
the memories made with tears and laughters.
I feel like I am the edge of saying goodbye to Youth,
and sometimes it saddens me.
I know it won’t stay for too long.
-SJ, Jul 2020.
Why am I being left out?
Where did I go wrong?
Where did I lack?
It’s better to say “I’m in love with someone” than “I fell out of love”.
Being bad guy and being hated is easier than feeling guilty in each drop of tears.
Padahal pertanyaan setahun lalu,
tapi waktu baru menjawab kemarin.
Padahal jawaban sudah tak dicari,
tapi ia malah datang dengan sendirinya.
Kadang hidup memang selucu itu.
my beautiful heartbroken poems were not just for my lovers
mostly were made out of broken friendships
though both were equally devastating
I thought my dreams were always surreal.
But now that I’m there, it feels too good to be true?
I don’t know anymore, I just knew what makes me happy.
Just like coffee, I don’t know which is which, I just knew which one’s my favorite.
Is sometimes all you need to do
As far as your feet could take
Until the very last air you gasp
Making distance with memories
Getting lost in looking for sanity
And eventually found something in the reflection
A new hope.
A hint of excitement leads to embarrassment,
time to back off for a moment.
Still not that sane,
for a thing that requires feeling.
Things I said to myself that made me cry today:
I miss being a kid.
Maybe some are better left unsaid,
like all of these times.
Let time do the work,
Hoping them turn into dust,
like they’re nothing.
Hilang beban walau sesaat.
Ingin lepas seperti kemarin.
Persis rasanya tersadar setelah memejamkan mata.
Jumpa lagi malam Senin?